we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
