Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
