there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
