Sry I called you an 8
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
