i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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