He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize