he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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