are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
