Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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