Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize