If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
