so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
