Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
