That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
