i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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