I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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