just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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