Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
