Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
