yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize