woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
My butt remains clenched, sir.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
