ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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