Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
