girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
