I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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