just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
