final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
