just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
He felt like a one man threesome
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
