we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He felt like a one man threesome
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
