I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Rumble strips road head = magical
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
