Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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