i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
