that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
