I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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