I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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