That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
