lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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