YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
