So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
