i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
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