Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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