The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
