If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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