so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
How's work?
Spinning.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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