this beer tastes like vomit already
accomplished twins. life is a go
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
i've created a new STD.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
