I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
