i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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