dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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