we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize