Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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