just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize