Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
