it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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