also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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