Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
