sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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