Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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