Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
