I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
