I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
