I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
