So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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