Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
