Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
