Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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