your room smells of hookers.
And success
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize