Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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