is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Randomize
