I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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