Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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