He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
