omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
