I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize